June 6th.... #DDay

The past few days have been hard, she died June 6th. I found out while boarding a plane from bwi to Mia. That was the longest flight of my life....  The only black person in first class, the pressure was on to remain calm and cool. Four vodkas one hour into the flight I lost it, I cried I cried so hard. The passenger next to me a caucasian business man hugged me while I cried and sobbed all over his suit. I remember I kept apologizing for crying, and he kept saying you need to grieve. When I was able to pull myself together he shared his story of the loss of his wife to cancer, and the mistake he made cutting everyone off and not grieving his loss properly.
I had a flight booked for June 6th and I didn't want to board the plane. It's 5 years later and I'm still grieving. That's weird, is it? I hope the day will come when I can fly on June 6th and not be in fear.